oneknee

2008-10-12T23:01:00.002+08:00

i dunno wat's wrong with me but i'm freaking lazy to hand in my RJ.
i feel bad for Ian cos i handed in late last wk & his class is on tue & i still havent submitted.
& i'm afraid of submitting the wrong answer for kai ming's physiology module.
either way, i've made a bad impression to them both.

i think i need a slap on my face.
october 12 just isn't a good day.
yesterday was so much better.
i had my highs & lows in the week but i felt it was good overall.

i wish i can pick my momentum once again,
i just don't know where I went..

2008-09-23T22:22:00.002+08:00

Oh gosh!! i'm super duper excited can?!
i just found out tresor's birthday is 2 days after mine & there's a plan to club to celebrate both our birthdays!
not fully confirmed yet la but if we do party on her birthday, it'll be two nights out for me tat week!! Wheeeeeeee!!!

ladies night on the 29th girls!
a month away but i wanna book u all first cos we have a match that day too.
& i hope no one bails out cos i didnt have my party last year as planned.
i've never asked for anything specific for my birthdays before but i want us to have fun together this year! hehe

& i bumped into our dearest dr tan swee kheng while training at spe
it was such a nice surprise & i feel tat the day went so well!! :) :) :)

2008-09-23T14:43:00.002+08:00

exuberance

quite a new BIG word for me

& it simply means in high spirits and vitality

but my class aint so exciting when presentations start

it's just the second team & i'm falling asleep

GOSH

2008-09-20T13:19:00.002+08:00

My oh my! Look at the time!
Lexanne's a year old already!

& that's when things started..
gosh! fate is always making me a fool
i was down after training last night because it's been a year
it's maybe because of the sheep
& maybe Mamma Mia did play a part too. hahaha

gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight,
won't somebody come and take the shadows away.
gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight,
take me through the darkness till the break of the day.

If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me

& fate made me bump into him. sheesh

2008-09-19T23:20:00.000+08:00

i'm a war of head versus heart, it's always been this way..

when i see the boy, it's mixed feelings i feel. i hear his words only from others.
& how obvious they teased. i just don't know how to react to the attention given.
i guess my heart yearns for someone.
and my head..
it tells me that i wouldn be able to handle another heartbreak.
Only the right one...but how would i know?
and being very conventional, i woouldn't take the first step.
it's not me la..how can it be me when nothing's happening?
i'm thinking too much again. well, i'm just gonna let it be..

i need a hug. i just need a hug..

take a chance on me..

2008-09-16T23:22:00.000+08:00

lady luck was on my side when i reached orchard after hanging out with linie at CWP after school just now. though i was exhausted, i wanted to head down to Heeren and Forum to look for presents but my plans changed once i saw the Duck counter in orchard still open with Dyanne doing the closing of sales. it was just minutes before i break my fast with just a bottle of green tea, but i wasn't hungry anyway. just as we were about to leave the counter at arnd 7.20pm, a man came in. we were cursing under our breaths as he walked into the counter thinking he was an illiterate guest. instead, he turned out to be a salesman who was selling paris hilton's new perfume, Just Me at a low price and it includes a large bottle of Escada's Rockin Rio! i couldnt resists such offers la, being a typical Singaporean. HAHA!

we made our way to Heeren to withdraw cash first but as we were about to walk off to centrepoint, 2 trainees from TONI&GUY came up to us to offer a free session of wash & blow as part of their training. that's when we knew lady luck was with us. Nicole curled the ends of my hair to help me picture myself since she knows my intention of doing so once my hair grows longer. the curls made me look beyond my age but i like it nonetheless! i just need to let it grow longer and colour my hair so that i wouldn look that old. haha. but the best part is that i was offered another free session for a highlight. you may worry that it may not turn out well but i believe i can always ask them to colour it back to black! :)

2008-09-14T22:12:00.002+08:00

OMG! I'm on blogger!
Hold on, i havent finished that line...
I'm on blogger on my new E71! Wheee!!
Well, i havent played arnd much with my new toy yet but hopefully my bills will not cost me a bomb if i'm using the net.
I'm in orchard btw....marriot to be exact
But i'm not feeling too ecstatic now

It's my face. I'm getting demoralised by my pimples as the days go by. Pretty has never been a description for me & i accept tat. But now, all i feel is UGLY whenever i look into the mirror. It's getting so bad that i don't feel like getting outta my hse for sch or work. I need a quick remedy and i dunno where to start. Facials? Medications? Accupuncture? Detox? Or maybe diet?
I seriously need help before it starts to eat up my self-esteem entirely...

365, today
Now, non-existance...

2008-09-12T16:39:00.002+08:00

okay. call me nuts but i do believe in those chinese beliefs. feng shui, accupuncture...i dunno what else. but according to my memory on what nina said years ago, her health condition can be read just by the face. & of course i'm only referring to it now because i've got lots of pimples growing on my cheeks. or maybe it's not pimples, acne? whatever it is, it's been there for months & i'm getting very worried. fadillah said it could be the amount of water that i drink & now i truly think it's the cause of the pimples. well, using the diagram, water may not be the cause. but my colon is quite a problem cos i havent been crapping as often as before. & tat may also explain how buncit i am not k?!

there were 8 of us who went to geylang to break fast together yesterday (although i wasn't fasting) and not many of us felt the spirit of hari raya. but being the usual crazy & random me, i was singing & dancing to the raya songs while walking around the bazaar! nab, naz & i played a carnival game - the one u need to clear a pyramid of cans with some balls. nab & I got stickers as consolation prize cos we sucked! HAHA! but i spent quite a lot on food yesterday! isn't a wonder why i use up my pay very fast within a month. but the next time we're gonna break fast, i hope it'll be a bigger group & probably go over to johor for seafood? heh.

anyway, skipping training & going for karaoke tonight with my cousins!!! Wheeeee!

2008-09-09T22:50:00.004+08:00

HOHO!

i'm ranked 161,170th in the world in 72min!

okay, vanessa got my hopes high by making me think i completed my 10k run just slightly after an hour but it seems there was a discrepency of 10min with her watch

but its OKAY!

my goal was to complete it under 75min & i achieved it!

& FYI, Singapore is ranked 24th out of 26 cities with the average of 74min per runner.

still, KUDOS TO ALL WHO COMPLETED THE RACE!

i sure feel like joining more races but i've got to think of the money too.

anyway, a week of the last semester just ended

but i kinda like my classes this semester

i'm still unsure how kai ming grades but my team in his physiology class is of superwomen

i had a biomechanics filled with familiar faces from my diploma & we do have quite a number of ROH students (3 on my team! stress! haha)

but another familiar face is my faci, ian & i'm quite thankful for having him cos he majors in the subject

leisure was a rather quiet class so i was the one who seemed to be the most talkative

i'm thankful karno & i are in the same group so there was someone who understand what crap i'm talking about

& my faci lives in the neighbourhood so i have to behave! haha

& i really do like my team & faci for my theatre appreciation module

we were quiet in the beginning but we all warmed up & quickly during the 2nd meeting, we were cracking each other up with jokes

& my faci, jasmine, is so cute!

she twirled, smiling, to face us after writing on the board

& she talks to herself too - that is so ME! LOL!

hopefully, it'll carry on to be fun & interesting as it has for this week

& Wheeeeee! i just went behind the wheels for the first time just now!
it was a lil scary at first cos there were so many things to remember all at once
but in the end, mr neo said i did okay & tat i need like 10 lessons to be ready for the TP test
but the challenge just started so i don't wanna be complacent
parking will be the most challenging, i believe

there's so many things to do this month & i'm so frigging excited!

there's driving lessons and netball trainings -

school trgs, avalanche trgs PLUS citibank's who wants me to train them

& lots of dinner with friends to break fast with!

& i haven't shopped in IKEA yet to get stuff for my room, which has yet to be cleared of the unneccessary things

well, i can't play green's day song this yr since i'll have to stay awake this september!!

HAHA!

& the latest news on tv:

Laurentia Tan won the first medal (bronze) in the equestarian event in the paralympics!

its awesome news, especially when the event isn't quite a big sport in our country.

KUDOS TO LAURENTIA!

& its a nice name she's got too. haha

2008-09-08T14:32:00.003+08:00

i've always looked forward to family gatherings especially with those on my mum's side & we just had one last saturday at my granny's house to break fast together. i wasn't really expecting everyone to turn up but only few wasn't there. & favourite uncle Sany wasn't around since he was on flight.

STILL, IT WAS FUN, FUN, FUN!

us cousins were eating on the floor in the living room while the adults took the dining table in the kitchen. it was pot luck & since the many different gravy was on the table, we had my favourite first; Cik Yah's sup tulang! I haven't had them for a very long time so it was really refreshing. but we made sure our tummies had space for second rounds and for other food of course! so the 'main' dinner ended at around 8. but knowing me, i was munching most of the time. & we all had royal's truffle cake (again) for Abg Mahadir's bdae. but i made sure i had space for my granny's Lopis during 'last order' at 9.30. HAHAHA!

the younger ones were tearing the house down with all the noise that they were making while chasing each other all around the house. but it kinda gave me some comfort deep inside.

& we had chances of making fun of cheesy lil Rayn who was always eyeing the beautiful wife of my bdae cousin. he was happily flashing himself bottomless to me & my 2nd sis after getting his diapers off but he became embarrased when all my cousins made fun of him. his facial expression changed dramatically and said sadly to his mum, "Rayn nak balik". MUAHAHAHA! Joke of the day lor!

the party carried on at a ktv room in Kampong Chai Chee CC as a celebration for my cousin, but only the cousins went since there wasn't enough cars to bring the adults. HAHA. we started out with duets. then my chubby cousin, fauzi, did a bit of striptease while singing a rock song! it was HILARIOUS! the best part was when we tried to pull a prank to the youngest cousin there by choosing a Raihan song, 25 Rasul (25 prophets). the biggest joker among us, khairul, took the mic to help introduce shiddiq with the song as we waited for the lyrics to appear on the screen. what came out was in JAWI & that cracked everyone up instantly! ironically, we played lady marmalade after that we everyone just stood & danced; on the sofa, on the ground, wherever! we had so much fun and made so much noise on the way out, i think we woke some in the neighbourhood since it was 2am then!

It was so much fun that we're gonna have another session again this friday. but kak hani will give us a treat this time around and it'll be in town instead. YAY!

Cheers to Kak Hani & all the fun that we'll have again on friday! :)

2008-08-27T22:18:00.006+08:00

sometimes,

i miss having someone who waits for me

after class, training or even work.
sometimes,

i long for someone to run to

for a cuddle when i'm feeling a little blue,

for hands which would hold mine to keep them warm,
for a shoulder for me to lean on when i'm weary,
to have someone to listen to me rant about what happened in the day,

& to have good conversations about everything under the sun.

sometimes,

just sometimes..

it's the time of the year. such fragility in this quarter.

maybe it's the song la. blame it on death cab for cutie.

but i can't believe i'm listening to their christmas song, in august?!

OH GOSH! WAKE UP WANY! 3.3 wasn't what you wanted!

i shall chant 3.5 everyday now to remind me of my GPA.

click below to view my grades.

i'm surprised i didn't get a C
especially for adventure learning
which i had skipped 4 lessons
& i'm quite satisfied with my results since i know i wasn't gonna score
& i'm very happy for the B+ i got for my FYP too.
now the maximum i can get is 3.42,
that's if i get all As for all 5 modules!
not impossible, it's just very very difficult to achieve :)
the class allocation is not officially out yet
but i've checked out my classmates for next semester
4 classes for my 4 modules
so many new faces, yr 2s esp
i'm even in a class of yr 2s & the only other senior is karno
& since he's also almost always late for school,
i hope we can be best friends!
WAKAKAKAKA!
whatever it is, i just hope i'll be able to stay focused this semester
& finish school on a good note

& but please do not be mistaken, i do not miss him.

2008-08-23T13:32:00.003+08:00

i felt like a child again, awed by the amazing fireworks display which i caught on the DUCK last night. my training got cancelled due to the 7th month dinner at the court. i was too tired anyway but Gia got my energy back again. she's hilarious on board! so fun although all of us were locals. & coincidentally, an old primary school teacher of mine sat on the same DUCK. she was known as ms evelyn teo. i forgot to ask for her current surname. still, it was a pleasant surprise cos she was with her hubby & her 2 year-old daughter. but i felt happy yesterday. there was a certain joy attained after the fireworks. i couldn't help but smile to myself as i walk to the train station alone.

& there's more fireworks tonight but i'm at work while watching. hopefully it'll be as good as last night. so i can smile like an idiot again..

if u could just take your chances..

2008-08-20T13:43:00.001+08:00

yay! i've passed my FINAL THEORY Test so i can be behind the wheels sooonnn!! the best damn thing was that i only got hold of the book at 1.30pm that very day to study. but i sat alone at Starbucks listening to Death Cab, learning the dos & don'ts in driving prior to the test. i wasn't very sure of the time of my test actually so i ended up at the CDC at around 4pm, 2 hours early! hahaha. i'm amazed that some ppl actually finished the test in like 10-15min but i refrained from hitting the finish button too early so i could check through my answers before submitting. i was super relieved when i saw the word 'PASSED' on the screen. hehe

but i've yet to get my PDL & contact my instructor. but i hope to get my QDL within 6 months! so i can drive around to all the many places i wanna go like dempsey hill, the oldest bus stop & also drive my frens out for supper! heh! :D

2008-08-17T01:42:00.006+08:00

to all the superwomen out there, stay strong & we'll fly one day
xoxo

Superwoman - Alicia Keys (As I Am)
Everywhere I'm turning
Nothing seems complete
I stand up and I'm searching
For the better part of me
I hang my head from sorrow
Slave to humanity
I wear it on my shoulders
Gotta find the strength in me

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Still when I'm a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I'm a Superwoman

For all the mothers fighting
For better days to come
And all my women, all my women sitting here trying
To come home before the sun
And all my sisters
Coming together
Say yes I will
Yes I can

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Still when I'm a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I'm a Superwoman

When I'm breaking down
And I can't be found
And I start to get weak
Cause no one knows
Me underneath these clothes
But I can fly
We can fly, Oooohh

Cause I am a Superwoman
Yes I am
Yes she is
Still when I'm a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I'm a Superwoman

video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xK8t0gP4isE

2008-08-14T02:29:00.000+08:00

watching the soccer boys play against the chinese dalian s-league team made us hungry..

but after dinner at Lau Pa Sat..
we had big pusat!

haha. kidding.

we just had a bigger pouch.

& the one carrying the baby is sven instead of nab! lol.

oh boy! i love that dress. don't you?

2008-08-13T23:44:00.002+08:00

My RJ question: Based on the comments made from Problem 1 to 15, how much have you grown?

& yes, another 16 weeks has passed for semester and 6 months went by like a breeze although it wasn’t as smooth as I expected. In fact, my grades this semester are really gonna pull my grades down to a 3 probably. All because I got off track from my initial goals and I didn’t have enough motivation to get back on gear.

Change is the most constant thing, but it is a choice between good and bad. I went through morphing once again and although the process seemed steady, the results turned out ugly. I do not like the feeling, or the absence of feelings or emotions. I feel dead, empty inside. It’s been so long since I felt ecstasy or simply being truly happy about something. My laughter have just been for short bouts, I smile only when necessary and I snap easily. I can’t always blame the hormones but I just dunno where the fault lies.
Yes, I’ve build a wall around my heart again and vowed not to let just anyone touch it for fear of being hurt. I do not want to settle for anyone other than Mr Right. I’m trying not to think of a chance of a Mr Right Now. But why can’t I still be HAPPY like I used to with all that I have now?
I said I changed and I did. I think lesser of the boy for being more than a friend, but ponders why he treats me worse than others (in that I mean other (girl) friends or even classmates). I don’t bug myself with the thought, just occasionally. I’m working every other day and training 3x a week. This means I hardly go out, or rather no one asks me out to socialize. An added factor to that is my phone which runs out of battery so fast that no one can reach me unless it’s charging before I leave my home or once I’m back. So I became distant from the people around me, that the only person/people I’m seen hanging out with are Naz, Haha & J. I lose touch even before leaving the school and that’s BAD! But when I step back and look at the situation, I question myself, “is it me? did I not initiate enough? or am I really forgotten easily?”

I guess alot of us changed throughout the semester. The cliques grew stronger even as we meet new people and make more friends. I began to see where i stand, presently and probably in the future. but who am i to say this, i can't tell what the future holds. All I know is that I should enjoy every moment as if it's my last with people who truly care. But in contrary, I need to carry out my plans for my future goals. I've yet to learn to balance this.

I guess I just need to learn to smile again.

& Ramadan month is coming, a day after the Nike+ Human Race! That also meant that Hari Raya is in 2 months and I need to revamp my room although hardly anyone visits or enters my room. I need to throw away all my sister's things including the gifts she got from her students (yes kids, do not spend so much on teacher's day gifts cos they might just end up in the bin. LOL!) and my textbooks tat i still keep thinking tat i'ld still need them (hell NO!). & i need to get a shoe rack, new sheets and frames to at least put up my printed poster of James Dean. heh. speaking of which, i'm trying to work my ass off to buy these stuffs plus put aside some for dinner with many many people in the fasting month. i so need to catch up with nina & lex, sarah(ciqken), the cookers and especially my jie YANG YANLING! i still owe her a birthday treat since april! we're both so busy tat we can only bump into one another. sheesh. i do miss a lot of people actually..

nvm, next month loves!

2008-08-10T00:45:00.000+08:00

i still have the SINGFEST fever even after a week after the event!

it's just so surreal that Alicia Keys actually looked and smiled at us onstage. & Nicole Scherzinger is HOT, i swear! they were all breath-taking considering that they sounded exactly like those on records (except for pcd who were dancing tirelessly). i was extremely impressed by Jason Mraz for singing every word rather than saying it to us. these are people with REAL talent. no kidding.

Travis - their guitarist was awesome!

jason mraz & nicole with a big smile!

the pussycat dolls strutting their stuff

i've even compiled all the songs that i have which they performed into a playlist. then i realised Alicia Keys sang 15 songs! no wonder i felt as though her performance was like an hour! & i'm proud to say i know almost every song and was able to sing and sway to them! LOL!

so here's the list of her performance (not in order of performance):

Go Ahead
Heartburn
Wreckless Love
Falling
You Don't Know My Name
Karma
How Come You Don't Call Me
My Boo
Superwoman
Teenage Love Affair
Woman's Worth
Diary
Unbreakable
Like You'll Never See Me Again
No One

the legendary queen of R&B does her magic with the keys of the piano

simply said, they were all stunning! not just in terms of beauty but also performance! they should have Coldplay, Justin Timberlake, The Killers & John Mayer at the next Singfest!

2008-08-02T00:23:00.000+08:00

i forced myself to swim at the rp splash
i can't swim for nuts! i'm a very land person! hahaha
dimple, naz & i were like at the side of the pool 'swimming'
& i had like different people advising me on how to swim properly la
cos my legs go really fast, tats why i tire out fast too
i tried to slow them down but maybe it's cos of the trauma of my near-drowning incident in johor last year
or maybe cos i'm just meant to be a sprinter, u noe? haha

jin offered a switch of IGs
us to life-saving so we can learn to swim, and her to netball
and after the many advises and the 18 laps we 'swam'
i was really considering taking up swimming lessons
then maybe one day, i'll be able to do the ironman like jacqueline olso. haha
but when?! Time!

and i skipped avalanche trg again. :x
Singfest Oh Singfest!

2008-07-31T16:14:00.002+08:00

i'm in pink today
hot pink
& everyone knows how much i hate the colour
but i thought the effort is cos i'll be going out
it's my only off day for this week
or rather for the remaining school weeks
and it doesn't help that my phone is down
& i didn't bring the charger
so i can hardly reach anyone to ask out

so i'm gonna have to date myself again?
like what i did yesterday, in a way

i have a feeling i'll marry late or not at all,

it seems that the signs are showing

2008-07-29T08:51:00.002+08:00

my friend hidayah said something that made me laugh out so loud.

dude was shocked when hidayah cursed f-uck
& she replied, "u think people who wear tudung cannot curse ah?"

i've been successful so far to reduce my cursing habit
but it's also because i haven't been feeling much emotions lately
i'm pretty dead in a way,
dead boring too.
no pun intended, i find myself to be very boring now
there's no excitement in my life
nothing to look forward to
but just to complete the day with a good sleep
& i don't see this as a good thing honestly

i haven't got any temptation to drink or club
even when i was at beatnik picnic last friday
& kelvin asked me to join him & vernon to dbl O tis wed
if i do go, it's only because i wanna hang out with them

2008-07-28T15:44:00.002+08:00

Jeremy: Have you ever been in love?

Li-Ann: I feel..

Jeremy: The right one hasn't come along.
I think you're brave. No, I'm serious.
Most people need to be with someone.
They can't wait to fall in love because they're afraid of being alone.
I think it takes courage to resist to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone.

quoted from The Leap Years (2008)

2008-07-24T15:27:00.003+08:00

fyp presentation is OVER!!
time to let my hair down, partyy & catch up on some sleep

working later,
maybe going for drinks after tat cos it's melvyn's last day at work.
beatnik party tmr night at smu green,
gonna watch hoovey perform in bloco (like finally!).
river cruise in the day on saturday & cousin's bdae bbq at night.
river cruise the whole day on sunday.

wednesday la..
then will i be free to relax!

damn it. finish presentation at 3.20, still stuck in class at tis time!
i wanna buy the vcd of THE LEAP YEARS!!! :D

2008-07-22T23:46:00.000+08:00

the sky was so pretty at dusk today
if only i had a camera or a good phone with me!

i'm getting a new phone, for sure this time
here's my choices:
htc diamond (so pretty! :D)

Samsung F480

& samsung omnia

let's discuss...
i love htc diamond's design,
so slim, so sleek, so pretty!
samsung F480 is as small & slim as diamond
but it's not a pda so there's no wifi
so it's the cheapest among the rest
samsung omnia is somewhat the same as diamond in features
but it's much longer/bigger than the diamond
both samsung phones have a camera of 5 mega pixels,
diamond is of only 3.5 mega pixels
samsung phones have got external memory,
diamond only internal

so i'm lost at which to choose
of course the cheapest would be the F480
but i guess having a pda would help since my lappie sucks
i'm thinking of either design, speed of processing, size or memory space
can someone give me some light in this?

2008-07-20T23:12:00.002+08:00

i'm so glad my menses came yesterday
although it came at a bad timing like during my tour
& it rained while i was doing the cruise for fireworks!
it would have been perfect if i didn't have to freeze in the rain

dino & heather now knows i'm a self-entertainer
cos i was jumping up & down trying to warm myself up
& i was singing along with the NDP songs that we had to play while waiting for the fireworks la
shouldn't tainers in ducktours be wacky ie random/crazy? haha.

avalanche bbq was good
i mean the food was served by the guys who were actually invited for the club's gathering
& the food was really good, plus it was halal. HAHA
i guess peili was upset i didnt stay longer to eat more cos there were so much leftovers!
but fyp laa..
did it at macs till like 7am
wanted to nap then go to the padang for the shape run
my heart wanted to be there, but my body was too tired

mummy had to wake me up like 3 hours aft tat to run some errands!
& i was told my uncle was admitted to CGH for stroke
man, i felt really bad hearing the news
he's one of the nicest among all in my dad's side
he was the one who taught me how to ride the vespa in kampung when i was 13
in fact, he was my pillion for tat ride
& he gave me support when i was working with 'giants'
i didn't noe wat to say when we were in his ward
u should see how happy he was when he saw rayn
but the silly boy was too shy to salam him at first
when he finally did before we left, my uncle was smiling widely to the left
& managed a short giggle
cos rayn said he'll pray for my uncle
but he said out the prayer for before food! :)

2008-07-18T15:53:00.002+08:00

many a time, i've wondered why
do i really deserve such treatment?
i tried to make amends
i dunno how u saw it as
i just dun want to lose a friend
it doesn't hurt anymore
it's just sad to see how things are now
you grace me with your cold shoulder
as if there was revenge you need to feel
i just dunno how to make it all better

or should i even bother?

2008-07-13T22:11:00.001+08:00

I have a problem with tardiness & I must get rid of it quickly before it takes a toll on my pocket. HAHA

I volunteered to help out at the Shape Run Carnival to help give out their tags and their shirts
Though I started off hating the fact that I’m giving out the shirts that I wanted for my own, it was quite fun at the event despite the fact that I was the only one from dses, and I’ve completed my points (I’m selfish, I know)
But the people were fun la!
My partner was this girl who has a unique name but I forgot what it was :p

& I was surprised to see familiar names on the list
I was checking out the mistakes I made with the tags when I saw ong bee kee on the list
Year of birth seemed to be right so I messaged to ask
Little did I know that another senior, dawn, was running too!
& after awhile I searched for Dr Tan swee kheng’s name since she was mentioned in the article on preparation for the run
Meiqi & Dawn came with Evie and a friend and they’re all doing 10km, against Dr Tan
I was hoping to see the latter since she left a few months ago, but I was just unlucky
& I also saw tat women’s arch rival who used to be her close friend
She didn’t know who I am so I just watched her from afar

& honestly, SLM people are quite fun la
Very easy-going and crazy too
I ended up going shopping with carol and shu ting since dawn they all had to rush for their show in tamp
& I spent on a top and a very nice green dress from topshop since carol gets discounts
And she’s really random and wacky la
Another Libran that I can get along with!
& to think that this is the second time we got to work with each other. Haha
I just think it’s so cool. Haha

& I’m happy I chose not to get high on booze
Even though it was a great offer for free drinks with lex whom I should catch up with
I find no reason to get high on anything except the love I share for my friends
& shopping too! hehehe.

2008-07-11T23:21:00.002+08:00

here's something i call fate?
i finally found my notebook after 5 months
i thought there would be some notes on my fyp that i could include in
but the only things i wrote were my resolutions for this year & my emotions

my resolution includes joining the Shape run,
getting my BEC & my driving license by this year,
& increasing my GPA to a min 3.5.
to be honest, the only one that is somewhat halfway done is my license!
i was late in signing up for Shape run cos 8,000 people did so within 9 days after announcement :
but i signed up to help out for their bazaar tmr at marina square as a consolation for me. heh
& this semester sucks so i'm not looking at my grades now :(

BUT i also wrote what i don't need which is
1) a relationship
2) a holiday
3) an extra job
& i can only assure you that i'm not considering no.1 as much as the rest
in fact, i have gone for a holiday & planning for another or even 2 trips!
MONEY MONEY MONEY!
where's my cert?? :

dated 180208 was a long poem along with some song titles
and honestly, he should have read this rather than the notes
cos this was meant more for a friend

i bumped into my idol on court just now
or rather, she bumped into me
then my chest hurt, so weird

i'll keep you as my little secret
my letter & love notes

2008-07-11T14:45:00.002+08:00

ACHES!
on my quads, my biceps & my ribs
i'm still deciding whether to go for avalanche training or not
my push factor is obk of course
but i'm aching all over,
& my fyp report
& i wanna shop..
though i dunno how much i'm left with
plus there's 1.2k for FISAF cert in consideration

darn...

2008-07-10T11:31:00.002+08:00

So I look in your direction,
And you pay me no attention do you?
I know you don't listen to me,
Cos you say you see straight through me,
Don't you?

But on and on,
From the moment I wake,
To the moment I sleep,
I'll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me,
I'll be waiting in line,
Just to see if you care

Oh, did you want me to change?
Well I'd change for good,
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
And I wanted to say

Don't you shiver
Don't you shiver
I'll sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you
So you know how much I need you,
But you never even see me do you?
And is this my final chance of getting you?

But on and on,
From the moment I wake,
To the moment I sleep,
I'll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me,
I'll be waiting in line,
Just to see if you care

Did you want me to change?
Well I'd change for good,
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
And I wanted to say…

Don't you shiver
Don't you shiver,
I'll sing it loud and clear
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
For you,
I will always be waiting

And it's you that I see,
But you don't see me
And its you, that I hear,
So loud and so clear
I sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you

So I look in your direction,
And you pay me no attention,
And you know how much I need you
But you never even see me

Shiver - by Coldplay
Shiver - Coldplay

2008-07-07T20:55:00.007+08:00

i was thinking what could make me feel more youthful when hoovey asked me

i heard the song & it hit the right notes

hope we can stay forever young like youth group & the Fabolous 4 in OC!

enjoy your youth!

there are so many things that i would like to say to you

but i don't know how

-wonderwall by Oasis

2008-07-07T11:01:00.001+08:00

sheesh
i'm so not listening in class
late then going home during breakout to get the shirt

& he didn't say a word

2008-07-05T12:28:00.004+08:00

it was Uncle Sam's birthday yesterday
& i could have gone clubbing cos there were so many events last night
but avalanche had a get-together
& for the first time, Im & I were invited
aft gyming in sch, i headed down to marina square to look for them
bumped into quite a number of people on my way there. haha
dinner was at spaggedis & i only had to order soup cos they had quite a bit of leftovers
food was quite good, especially since they forced me not to pay. haha

xuan xuan was such a happy baby yesterday
always smiling and laughing with dawn & peili playing with her
but when it came to kok leong & peili's hubby, she cries
not sure why she fears them but shi qiu's bf/fiance doesn scare her
we proved that just yesterday. lol
& everyone was very nice yesterday esp when im wasn't around
they just didn't want me to feel left out, so nice of them

there was quite a chaos in the cinema theatre cos there were like 16 of us in total
dawn was rather frustrated with the seat allocation
& i volunteered to fetch Im when she reached so i was supposed to get the aisle seat
the only problem was that my phone batt was flat so only yujiao would noe when she reached
but we were seated so far away
& i made a fool of myself when yujiao asked for the ticket cos i couldn't lip-read
we laughed it off aft the show ended. lol

i sat in between obk & im
i couldn't be happier for that matter :D

my phone was bombarded with sms-es aft i charged it
& jenny actually saw me outside kenny roger's!
if only my phone didn't die on me
i miss tat woman

i let down my pride to ask him for a favour
but i never received a reply cos he said he didn't bring his phone
so who's phone did he used to text at the corridor?
he could have lied & it bugged me
still, i called him outta class to give whatever is his
(except chasing daylights cos i havent finished reading it)
then i realised i didn't take out the letter and the wrong notes
i think he read it
now i'll just have to see how it goes..

2008-07-02T00:12:00.002+08:00

i think it's kinda funny,
the process to get back to the old me
i used to go to macs so often last year
& here i am again
i figured i need to complete my fyp by tonight
without the temptation to sleep

kelvin told me so many things as we hung out at the esplanade with raymond
things that i should have known a long time ago
i didn't know the truth
i didn't even know they knew
but it's too late now
though i teared upon hearing it
& i let them flipped through my inbox
of the sugar i once tasted sweet
& the poem i made
of all the songs that i sang in my head to him
still it's too late

i just want to apologise again
hopefully for the last time
i wanna erase the old circle & draw a new one
i just dunno how to start..

2008-07-01T15:03:00.001+08:00

missing again though somewhere around here.
oh boy, i've got good control now

i love you all. :)

2008-06-30T15:09:00.003+08:00

i watched Tuesdays With Morrie for a total of 3 times
& i'm sure i would want to watch it again
the book is a good read & i really recommend it
mitch albom is the author
5 people you meet in heaven is good too
my mum read it after i did! hehe

but honestly, i've been crying for almost the whole of last week
don't worry, i didn't cry for him. haha
i watched Freedom Writers & cried every minute of it
so touching!
& of course i cried again during Tuesdays with Morrie
& hoovey sent me links of Team Hoyt & Randy Pausch that made me cry again
it's a good week of appreciating life

i was lucky he didn't feel like coming to sch last tue cos we were supposed to be on the same team
i'm quite sure i was giving out the aura cos i was filled with hatred of him tat day
& yes, i looked through him time & again
but i would not like to do so anymore

Morrie recited this part of a poem by W. H. Auden
All I have is a voice
To undo the folded lie,
The romantic lie in the brain
Of the sensual man-in-the-street
And the lie of Authority
Whose buildings grope the sky:
There is no such thing as the State
And no one exists alone;
Hunger allows no choice
To the citizen or the police;
We must love one another or die.

i'm treating everyday as my last now
i mentioned about dying a few entries back
but like what morrie said,
'if you know how to die, you'll know how to live'
i wanna live to my fullest
to enjoy perfect moments
with anyone, & everyone
i no longer want to regret
to forgive & hopefully forget
to complete my circles to any incomplete relationships
to move on and turn back to only the good memories

hence i wanna say i love you
thank you for your guidance
for the lessons i've learnt

2008-06-23T23:57:00.002+08:00

i think i'm gonna die soon
i dunno
after the dream, or nightmare rather, that i got last thurs
i was just freaked out
dreams are not just dreams to me, more like premonitions which i need to unveal
plus my heart rate was abnormally fast during training just now
but i don't mind dying at an early age actually
at least i won't make any more sins
i just hope i have time to repent
& resolve bad relationships
as of now

somehow, it was a good day in sch today though
alot of pouring out of my thoughts & emotions but it felt good for awhile
so naz, jasmine, jessica & Jin, thank you for listening :)

& evie was really being nice for letting yaya know of her own suspicion of my fear of her
well, not fear la ah
let's just call it respect, plus a lil fear. haha
& yes, i smiled quite a bit for trg, before making a mess on court again la
but i shall just be simple & observe obk all the way for the match on saturday :)

i'm praying hard i won't be so unlucky as to be in his group tmr

nonetheless, i will survive!

2008-06-22T11:34:00.002+08:00

staying 50m radius of him might be tough to fulfill
so i blocked him on msn
deleted his number from my phone
although i had it screwed in my mind months ago
& i did smth that might have cut the friendship
or whatever that's left of it

but i'll fill that in when i'm free
i'm at work now :

2008-06-20T08:35:00.002+08:00

so much for being early for class,
i'm with 2 of the most irritating boys for my new team
:(

2008-06-19T14:51:00.003+08:00

i really dun like khai munn & his module of adventure
but i have to get my grades so wish me luck with this class i'm in

but fomei just made me so happy! haha
she just e-mailed us the pictures at the wedding dinner :)

avalanche; players & coaches + baby

the bride, shirley, is in purple

the juniors & the bride :)

i just love my dress, don't you?

(obk is in red :p)

2008-06-18T23:55:00.002+08:00

i think i should be banned from using MSN
cos i keep looking at his nick
then wonder who its for, wat it meant
although he's under some other grp tat i usually dun chat to the ppl with

i'm trying to recover for goodness sake!
i can't be of 50m radius of him

2008-06-18T21:50:00.005+08:00

tomorrow will officially be the first day of class for me after the holidays. haha
i've been home since 6pm & up from my nap 2 hours later to feed my empty stomach

i skipped my management class on monday to go over to johor to get my baju tailored
yes, hari raya is 4 months away
but the tailors are already busy & will be closing their intakes soon!
i have like 4 baju kurungs tis yr cos i couldn make one in time for last yr
we're gonna be so purple again tis yr

rayn & my nenek went over to johor with us too
his mother didn't wanna leave him crying at the childcare
so the maid got to travel out of the country too cos my eldest sis had to work
but it was mainly me & my 2nd sis who took care of him
and he finally knows my name now! thank god
thankfully he wasn't being such a brat
in fact, he was so cute at the immigrations
we were talking about the about our passports & i asked who was the boy in the photo

rayn: tu rayn
me: yeah, tats u rayn. when u were small
rayn: rayn ootak

he meant to say botak. haha
& he was singing to tis jiwang malay song my dad always plays on the karaoke, while waiting for my mum & the maid from the immigration counter
he got the lines right for the first line & he went 'nana nana nanaNA...' aft that
but the tune was right
& i dun even noe the song well actually!
so cute!
but kids are so honest at 2 half years
busuk, was what he said of the car when my uncle who stays in johor was driving us to the tailor aft we had lunch at my aunt's stall

i ended up being late for work cos of the jam
but if i hadn listened to my mum & walked to the checkpoint myself, i could have been on time
but no worries, cos there were 2 tainers on duty ON A MONDAY NIGHT?!
weird scheduling, trust me all of us were wondering why

i spent 2 hours plus on the laptop in macs clarke quay to do my fyp yesterday
my eyelids were rather heavy aft tat when i was working
& man, back-to-back tours for 2 hours twice is no joke
my mic broke down during my last tour so i had to shout instead. grr

& i gave my seat to a pregnant lady
she was very thankful just before i alighted at city hall
aft i shook her hands to congradulate her, i felt a warmth in my heart & a whole of emotions that nearly made me cry
probably because i was also reading chasing daylights on the train, i remember the many people i know & missed so much
shirley ang was one of the top few names

now, i'm just waiting for midnight to see my boy again
channel 5 ya'all
the one with the curly hair, a cute smile & a great sense of humour is mine! :)

& i'm munching still.

2008-06-16T01:34:00.002+08:00

ahhh! they back out on me again yesterday!
this time round, my heart didn't break
i was just so frustrated aft my last tour
but thankfully i still have other frens out to club
& tat of course meant that i didn't use my free tickets to zouk again

had only 6 hours to sleep cos i followed my sis to the national museum for the mozart:child prodigy exhibition meant for my nephews & niece (my cousins brought her 2 kids along too)
i got a called from a private number & i couldn't recognise the name of the caller
then i realised, my fren's bf gave my number to his fren whom i asked if he was chinese
i had to cut the convo short for the visit at the museum

the exhibition was quite cool actually
there were wigs, clothes and make-up to make us look like mozart or the ladies in his era
they were meant for the kids to play around with but my sisters, cousin & i were the ones dressing up instead!
we spent quite some time there till i was only left with about 2 hours to the wedding dinner of my avalanche senior, shirley

& honestly, i love weddings!
initially i felt a little overdressed for the event
but aft reaching the ballroom, i couldn really be bothered
BUT! i did get a lot of my seniors talking bout my boobies
well, not just my seniors, one of their bfs too. haha
but kl has always been a good sport in anything so his jokes were bearable
peili joked the most bout me saying that her table were discussing bout me
but she said they've always noticed? hah

but it's obk la..
i'll smile at every glance across the next table
to myself, rather than to anyone else cos i didn't dare look her in the eye
not until we were outside the ballroom when she gave that look to tease me
refreshing is all i can say

i remembered her reaction when the foul on her was not called in the match yesterday

u can see she was frustrated cos she walked away to fall back on defence instead

but she kept her cool

& that to me was brilliant

i just got back that part of me
one who remembers to love others who has been there all along. heh

2008-06-13T01:28:00.002+08:00

i can't tell what this is
these thoughts that cross my mind everyday
the first & last thing on my mind
& prolongs even during the day
it is wrong, it shouldn't be happening

that's what love is about, a friend said
or is it?
is the explanation that simple?
that i love the boy & that's why i think about him all the time?

but how could that be,
when the chills that i used to get when we were fooling around, is no longer present?
when i've made it clear to myself that he is not the one i would end up spending the rest of my life with

but my heart skips a beat each time i read his name
it sinks when i hear no news cos my thoughts will go far
cos i know what he's like, esp when he goes back to her
& every month, during the cycle, that is when i miss him most
his physical presence, his touch basically
that was what we were all about; physical
but why does it affect my emotions too?

now, i think whether he's worth the effort
my effort & precious time to make a gift out of scraps
the things are all ready, but would he appreciate the gift & keep it?
or would it be thrown away for fear of envy?

2008-06-10T16:44:00.005+08:00

so disappointed. :(
i swear my heart broke just now.
i had to make so much effort to get my days off
but it still comes to zero
and sixty bucks gone
wasted

Scars (Stronger For Life) - Corrinne May

‘Scars (Stronger for Life)’ by Corrinne May
I just want to run
Just want to hide away
Close my eyes to your gaze
Just want to leave
Don’t want to hear them say
“You’re no good at this”

When the world swirls with naysayers
Broken wings and torn pages
The road ahead
Drowning in my tears

Break me open
Tear me down
Into pieces
Broken crumbs
On the ground
You can mould and shape me
In your image
Breathe your life
You know I need it
Scars make us stronger for life

Losing myself
Gaining it back again
Forging strength from weakness
All that I am
All that I’m meant to be
Melting in your hand

Let the world swirl with naysayers
Pickled hearts and sour faces
What is real is what I cannot see

Cut away
All within me
That won’t bear fruit
Cut away
All within me

Scars make us stronger for life

2008-06-10T01:04:00.002+08:00

FADZ, YOU'RE SO RIGHT!
i've been trying to watch the home song stories for the longest time
& i'm still a half hour away till the end of the show
to think that i've been on the youku site since 7pm to watch it! hah

i shall just continue some other day then
no JB for us tmr, lunch

& i do love young chuan chu jessica sara for being herself
& sometimes, i love nigel too
just sometimes. hahaha
they're hilarious & a great company to be with :)

2008-06-08T14:30:00.002+08:00

hoho!
I'm so proud of myself!
i was up at 0530 yesterday & decided to burn those fats away
actually, i woke up cos i was msg-ing halfway the night before
but still, i couldn go back to sleep so i ran for at least 30 mins around tampines!
i actually ran till my granny's area cos i tot of dropping by but she was going to Batam!
& my sister didn't switch on her phone so i couldn't go over her place either.
i walked home in the end so i was 'working out' for like 2 hours in total. haha

seriously, it has proven to work due to the glycogen storage
since the last meal i had the night before was actually arnd 5pm & i woke up at 5.30 the next morning, i was fasting for 12 hours
so due to the glycogen depletion, fats would be the next energy that would be used by the body
go read up here: http://www.dumbbell-exercise.com/cardio-training.htm

avalanche won our match against Bedok BB Reds which is made up of mainly ang mohs
i played WD for the first quarter cos Janet came in only during the 2nd quarter
but when they put me to play C in the last quarter, i was a mess
like i dunno wtf i was doing, where i was running
i got scolded on & off court but it was my fault so i deserved it & shall learn from it

xuan xuan has grown bigger now since she's coming to a year old in sept
& she was wearing this cute 'i love daddy' top since it was my 2nd coach, Jeff's bdae
they broke out singing the birthday song as he was scolding me actually. hah

RP 1 lost to extremes
cos Naz wasn't around?
her relative passed away tats y she couldn't make it for the game
it would have been a good game to watch though
& Jasmine gave away 4 tickets to Shane for free entry to ZOUK!
i could have gone if i could find people to go with me!!
but i missed it again, another clubbing night gone
& i dun think Shane went either actually.
haha. wasted
abby & van asked me to go for HERSTORY coming thurs at zouk
hopefully, it'll be fun! :)

& i brought haha, meishi, nab, vivien & xueli on the new hippo boats for the river cruise yesterday
we decided to accompany vivien who was meeting her frens at PS only arnd 10.45pm after we had dinner at sakura, city hall
we were being bitchy cos the host was persistant in making us dine there. haha
anw, we couldn bowl at SRC cos it's open for members only so i suggested the river cruise
too bad kexian didn't come down cos she wanted to do so too
i joined fadz with her frens at tjg pgr aft tat
but i slept at the table, didn't noe i was tat tired though. haha

& she said she started running, not walking, aft crawling

but she aint an athlete now

hah! i'm such a bitch

i love him too, can? hah

2008-06-05T21:54:00.002+08:00

home alone: day 2

i only had a charter for 2 hours earlier this morning for Iman Kindergarten.
the kids were so cute but the teachers were more fun cos they were answering all the questions i posted as a quiz while on the tour
but there might be a maths genius among the kids just now
Nadia fared way better than the teachers when i asked a maths questions,
in fact, she was the only one who got the answer right
i stayed to chat with naz after that & realised i had so much time to kill
only melvyn & aiman was at the clarke quay counter so i reckon i'll just take the pics & video Jevin took of me, SJ & Tham since i'm going over to work tmr

i went down to CDC aft a bit of window-shopping to book my FTT
19th Aug, 6.45pm
next step: call to arrange for my driving instructor
i assume i might get my license by dec?
hopefully..

i thought of going over to my granny's to visit but i couldn't call cos my batt was flat, as usual
so i planned to clean up the house, go over to granny's & cycle/gym
instead, i went home to sleep, eat dinner at 7 and went out with my family (rayn & his parents too) to eat again
now it isnt a wonder why my fat percentage has increased

i'll run in an hour's time
if only my partner isn't too busy with his gf

2008-06-04T20:10:00.002+08:00

i've finally finished with the data collection for my fyp
frigging 3 days straight of collecting datas of our 16 subjects on running
it's like a normal school day to us
& 'NORMAL' for me means 9am so i was late every morning too. hah
imagine, 8 hours in the lab with our lunch as our break to see daylight before ending arnd 5pm
it was quite a crazy routine but it's much more relaxed than the calculation that we have to do after this
moreover, there's always najib, afiq & adzim to crack the whole team up with their jokes

but today's exceptional
i've been very restless the whole day
there's so many things coming up & i can't plan them properly

the management at my workplace cock up my work schedule,
i'm probably going to JB with some of my frens next week,
i've got matches that clashed with my work
i haven't settled my Final Theory Test (FTT)
i haven't sent the cloth to have my baju kurung tailored
i've got bills & debts trailing me
my room is still a mess after my return from batam

i have to get things done by tmr cos i've only got a charter to do for 2 hours

& i should be in a MOS now if my colleague hadn't change her birthday plans for ktv instead

or in Zouk with ben & sharon if there was someone to accompany me so i wouldn't be a lamppost

i was just so tempted to ask him but i guess i have to assume that i'm being avoided since my harmless msg has yet been replied since yesterday

oh, well..

i have to start cleaning up my room now so i can go for my run arnd 2300hrs

my BIA will motivate me to run more to prove him wrong! JIA YOU!

2008-05-30T05:39:00.000+08:00

May 29, 2008

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)You are capable of nursing an old wound, even if you've done therapy, forgiven everyone involved and allegedly moved on. But just because you can remain attached to your past, it's not necessarily the smartest strategy for happy living. You have an opportunity for change now; yet it might require that you look back one more time. Once you figure out how to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, you will be able to move forward.

so true! So SCARY!

2008-05-22T00:18:00.002+08:00

i've passed my basic theory!
like finally! & luckily too cos i missed the mock test since i was late.
but YAY anyway!

felt like an idiot cos my com screen was blank, i thought the monitor was off
then the guy beside me just touched the screen and it lit up
& i couldn find the password on my paper, he helped me again
GOD, HELP ME!

PLUS++
i didnt know what i was supposed to do after the test,
ie to print the results, book FTT and/or practical lessons,
i didnt wanna ask those at the counter & my batt was flat
so i went off straight after printing out my results

i feel so lost, dumb and empty altogether
i havent done my self-reflection fully but i think its because i havent forgiven myself
it has been months & i know he is not my future
but there's always that small bit that keeps coming back every once in awhile
it's tiring & frustrating cos i seem to be a different person now
i don't have my reasons, any motivation
i don't know what i truly want and how i want them done

sheesh wany, who are you now?

weheartit

2008-05-14T13:53:00.002+08:00

i heart it too.

do you?

2008-05-07T01:27:00.006+08:00

When all you got to keep is strong

Move along, move along like I know you do

And even when your hope is gone

Move along, move along just to make it through

When everything is wrong, we move along!

I HATE RELAPSES!

& I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I GET THEM

fridays were the worst throughout this 4 weeks

fucking distraction to me for my supposedly best lesson.

but i could still handle the first friday.

now that my menstrual cycle is starting again, so will the relapse.

FUCK!

FUCK EMOTIONS!

& FUCK YOU WANY!

2008-05-05T23:22:00.002+08:00

my godsister made my day by coming out from the van her friend was driving while passing by my school after she noticed me jogging

i screamed and hugged her while drenched with sweat

ms yang yanling

i hope that's not the only time you'll surprise me with fate on our side.

hahaha.

dinner, jie? or nectarie in clarke quay?

have safe flights and back cos i still owe u a meal

xoxo

2008-04-06T23:45:00.003+08:00

a wedding & a funeral.
that's how my holidays ended.

my extremely gifted second cousin got hitched on saturday afternoon.
apparently, this genius has been with her indonesian-boyish-looking hubby since JC.
I had no idea she had time for boyfriends. oh well, minus the s i added in the last line.
she's super lucky to have found such a person who also shares a great mind (they studied in RJC & then took their masters or pHd in melbourne together).
yup, she's the cousin who's got 20k as dowry la! WOAAHHH!!!
it was a simple occassion at her parents' new place in taman bedok with close friends & relatives.
'kristen kreuk' got many of the guys talking.
but guess who got to chat her up?!
MY UNCLE SANY! who did my make-up for the event
well, i'm just waiting for the wedding reception at Tepak Sireh in december.
for once, i'll be able to sit down and enjoy a relative's wedding. heh

& happy birthday to my bestie, Fadz
20 on saturday & i'm so sorry to not meet u up tat day

my cousin passed away on sunday morning
i was too shocked to fathom what would happen after that
he & his younger sister have been born with special needs
& he became his mum's best friend for his whole 18 years since he was always by her side
i have always been amazed at my aunt's courage to take care of her 2 children
and even though i may not know her well since she's been taken care by an adopted family
it was evident that she loves him so much that it was tough for her to let go

& yes, i went for his funeral procession
the first muslim one in many many years because i have always been scared
but after reading tuesdays with morrie, i understood that it was part of life
pain and death, issues many choose to avoid
well, you're welcome to talk about death with me now, in a good way of course

surrounded with my maternal family
a wedding & a funeral
then sch starts

2008-03-31T00:01:00.002+08:00

i woke up aft only sleeping for 5 hrs just to catch the 2nd day of the NSL league.

13oohrs Vipers Vs Stingrays
1500hrs Mannas Vs Marlins

that was the only matches i wanted to watch today.
cos yulan is playing again for Vipers tis yr and vann is team manager of Mannas.
ting jun, premila, jean ng, gaby hauchbum were playing too but i came down to support the only 2 i know involved in the league.
& yes, since sec 1 i've always looked up to yulan as my idol, & my mentor in avalanche.
it's unfortunate not to have her play for us again but i would still rave of her.

but it's sad how we said hello.
i was excited & hoping tat her knee is fine when i asked of it since she pulled out from the 3rd quarter.
she just answered and walked away, & i feel no warmth in seeing my presence.
the recent chinese new year reunion was another awkward encounter.
we exchanged no words for the hour or so in regi's place & only said goodbye when i left early for home.
could i have done anything wrong to be treated in such a way?
or is paranoia befriending me again?

you're my bad habit; still

in thoughts

2008-03-29T01:10:00.001+08:00

to all who has a place of my heart

imu

xoxo

now reading tuesdays with morrie

2008-03-28T00:32:00.002+08:00

it has always been cryptic
& i'm always left trying to decipher its meaning
it's intriguing
but it got tiring
so i gave up

were u trying to put the blame on me
or do u really want it?
just be more straightforward next time?

*don't ask, i don't want to prolong this

2008-03-25T21:21:00.004+08:00

IRIS;

when everything's made to be broken

i just want you to know who i am

this lines made an impact to how i would want to live my life ever since i heard it years ago.
like what Najib said, people come & go; 'so few come & don't go'
i chose to know more people
but for many, i know it would be tough to stay
so i prefer to just be remembered
for something, anything

& i guess that makes me remember people too
important people,
ones who made an impact
for one reason or another
that's why i love forever
i would always remember those who have been special to me
even for a short period of time

i will remember you,

will you remember me?

don't let your life pass you by

weep not for the memories

2008-03-23T01:06:00.001+08:00

a train of thoughts kept crossing my mind so i have to pen it down;

i want to be forever in love
forever in love
because the thrill of chase is in that phase
& everybody loves it
things dies down after some time & it doesn get exciting anymore
so when i found the right one
i want to be forever in love

yes, i'm a hopeless romantic
but only because i know i love deeply
& everyone of them is like a tatoo

2008-03-19T21:19:00.000+08:00

Fate loves to play a cruel game on me. Coincidence is God’s way of staying anonymous, or so they say. But the game isn’t fun nor funny at all.

The very day I was to meet him with some friends after a very long time, I ‘saw’ him twice while working. The first guy got me intrigued for awhile as I entertained a small crowd. The second incident gave me a big shock as I reacted to his wave rather quickly without thinking – this guy was wearing a top I saw him wear in a photo & had the same attributes i.e. hair, height & shoulder wise. I went speechless for awhile with the microphone still at my mouth.

& as he drove us down to meet our friends, the radio was playing great songs. But as I sang along, I found the lyrics all too familiar; 'Complicated', 'Best I’ve ever had'. & I thought the game with the songs ended there. But no, it carried on the whole night. I remembered ‘How to save a life’ & ‘Better that we break’ played at Macs. The last song of the night was actually the remake of 'I Will Survive'. I’m not sure if it’s a sign or anything but knowing how superstitious I am, I take it as one. It’s just that I’m not taking any actions whatsoever for now since I have no idea what it means.

We’re ex-classmates for now. Period.

2008-03-15T23:09:00.002+08:00

unwell;

& i'm not sure wat's the best medication

='(

2008-03-12T21:49:00.002+08:00

blocked;
or backpacking away
astray

hunch

eschew; but still

do you want to be the one i always know?

a friend brought it up to me, how i turn people down.

cruel but true, the heart would tell me

there is a mole who told of the casanova

i'm so sorry for you; & for me

2008-03-07T00:16:00.003+08:00

i'm having fried bean sprouts & fish cake for dinner.
hur hur.

life is as it is, just day by day.
how dull.
but it's scary. it's depressing.
like an artwork in black & crimson red.
i just need a reason..

2008-03-02T23:37:00.002+08:00

oh, this is the start of something good

don't you agree?

follow through - gavin degraw

2008-02-26T23:47:00.002+08:00

fate.

it's strange how it works
two days, two people
at the same places we went to
with the same purpose
my heart winced at the thought of what we did
it felt good when it was with you
but i doubt i'll get to feel it again for a very long time
i guess my tears in theatres were for you too
cos i was happy then
intrigued by you
but not now; never again
:)

it's better to have loved & lost than never to have loved at all.

coincidence is just God's way of staying anonymous

2008-02-22T23:19:00.002+08:00

i've got 2 tickets for The Leaps Years Blog Aloud on monday, 25th.

& I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT!

imagine being a few rows behind wong li lin!

ARGHHH!!! SO EEGGGCCIIITTEDD!!

now, now

who shall i go with?

hmmm...

2008-02-22T00:17:00.003+08:00

KUDOS TO ALL!

SINGAPORE WILL BE HOST TO THE YOUTH OLYMPIC GAMES IN 2010!

WEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!
naz & i were rushing to the padang from chinatown just now & we were so excited when we heard loads of cheering even from the new parliament house.
when we heard the words itself, both of us got goosebumps. happens when u receive some incredibly good news that you play no direct part in. haha.
we felt like jumping up & down but felt that it'll look idiotic doing it just the two of us in the unenthusiastic older crowd.

we walked through the crowd of school students trying to look for familiar faces to celebrate the occassion. saw saket & chin yang.
& the biggest surprise was when i saw reza at the stands!
didnt stay long to chat but it was good to have seen him again. it's been so long. haha
but naz & I stayed on when the music proved too irresistable for us to leave. haha. & we just danced the night away in the middle of the road! they even played a hindi song 'oh my darling. i love you!'. LOL!
it was just so fun la! too bad they stopped short even before 8.30pm.
but there was another side that was playing 'Dancing in the Moonlight' by Modjo & i did literally that in the middle of the road while heading back to the train station.
if only i could dance to 'you don't know me'.

slow dancing in the moonlight.
i think i shall make that a life resolution.

2008-02-20T23:12:00.002+08:00

0848

1511

1012

6505

0106

these numbers bore no pattern

but each holds a meaning

& almost everyday i write to u

the heart pumps the same

no more, no less when it comes to u

but u're such a bother

ur presence or absence means the same

to be or not to be - the feeling of lost

i dun trust anyone now

i think i need professional help

HELP?

2008-02-20T21:57:00.002+08:00

my. oh, my!

i really can't believe how bimbotic i can get.

i rushed to suntec thinking that i have to work at 10am. & since i thought i was gonna be late, i took a cab down from kallang (cheaper!).

captain roger jokingly scolded me for being 5 min later than i'm supposed to but since i was still 10 mins earlier before the tour started, he forgave me. haha.

imagine my surprise when my senior came out from the bus telling me that she was scheduled for the day instead of me after i took some things from the counter in suntec?! gosh!

but u know why i wanted to just slap myself for? i had a hunch, though a slight one, the night before, that told me to check the schedule in my laptop again. but i didn't do it! i trust that i wouldn't have made a mistake taking down the wrong date.

so really people. my hunches tell me the right things almost always. so remind me to trust them more next time! haha

feelings. nothing more than feelings. lalalalalala..

in the end, i hopped on the bus to chinatown to get my sun block.

like finally!

but guess what again?

banana boat also uses paraben. (refer to earlier posts to know more bout paraben) so i couldn't care much anymore bout the chemical & bought the spf 50.

it was just scorching hot that day so thank god i had the sun block.

walked arnd chinatown for a bit.

trying to act like a tourist from indonesia - not India!(thanks ah jen)

asking arnd for the best prices for brochures to bkk, phuket or batam.

& for iPod Classic 80GB. lowest i found was $365 in people's park complex!

but i simply love the shops near maxwell food centre.

the things sold are rather pricey cos they're imported goods but they're really unique & absolutely gorgeous!

i love the metal postcards. u can write on them & have them posted within the US!

& there's a pack of quotes to thank someone or remind others how special they are in 30 different phrases. one for each day!

that's so gonna be the next stop for presents la! christmas esp!

the shops are just beneath SCARLET hotel which looks absolutely gorgeous from outside! it's a boutique hotel if i'm not wrong. looks really classy!

then i bumped into an ex-colleague when i was just about to head down to look for dempsy hill,

a place yet to be discovered by me.

so in the end, i went along with them back to my old office in kelantan lane. all of them were surprised to see me la.

& besides the obvious difference on my skin tone, everyone said i lost weight (a lil) & that i look and sound happy & mature.

everything they said is true.

i'm happy with my life now. not euphoric, just happy though not fully contented.

a drive for more success is what you get when you're willing to work harder to feel more content. :)

& after bumming arnd in the old office, using the net, playing sudoko & just chatting (not motivating anyone for their work), i left the place so late to get to my grannie's place for a sleepover since i was planning to send her to the hospital for a check-up after her eye surgery for cataract.

she's fine now. one eye has perfect eyesight!

& she walks around, even at home, with sunglasses on to avoid the sunlight.

& she slept with the sunnies on too! gosh. she look so cute la!

hahaha.

& i've finally registered for my basic theory test (BTT) just now.

i can't wait any longer if not i'll procrastinate again & again.

now, i'm not even sure if i can get my license this year as planned since i'm only sittng for BTT in May.

insya-allah, everything will go on fine as planned.

oh! ms nureen answered my call again this time arnd. the busy woman would want to go on the duck but i'm not doing them & i can't give discounts for duck either.

2008-02-18T21:28:00.000+08:00

yesterday, my sis & i brought my mum to eat at another turkish restaurant in kampung glam; bussorah st to be exact.
did so as a treat for her 56th birthday cos i suddenly feel generous & yearning to try out new or exotic food at a place i've never dined in before. i guess this food adventure started after fadz brought me over to 2 different restaurants for pastas but i like SHIKUDO in citylink best!

i felt good after paying the bill in the restaurant actually. then i bought 2 small teddy bears which were collectors items actually at this shop in arab st selling sasha bears since it was Haha's birthday & i felt rich enough to get the other for that woman. aft those buys, i held on so dearly to whatever amount i was left with cos i've yet to treat dinner after so much prompting.

& i got my crazy side take over me again when i went for ktv with fadz & frens. u know how random i can get so yes, i wasn't shy with my singing or dancing although it was actually a session for fadz to practice for her semi-finals this saturday.

FOREVER LOVE. great choice of song that suits her voice, definitely! i'm sure u'll win more votes even without us voting. but i'll vote for u for sure!

GD LUCK LOVE! DO YOUR BEST & ENJOY THE LIMELIGHT! hehe.

& i just LOVE Haha's reaction to the cake we got for her during training. it was just pure surprise. HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY MAKCIK! May u find your ONE soon.

&i got a small bag from that woman just now. & when i asked what's it for, as in the occasion, she just shrugged it off. she's as random as me. no wonder we get along. LOL!

THANK YOU JENNY! FOR EVERYTHING! :)
i will miss u so in school. sobs

2008-02-16T21:14:00.001+08:00

boiler room was just what i needed.
it was just great even when there were only the few of us.
my fren was there all along except for that break for her puff.
hur hur. liar, liar.
but i still love her! hugs babes

vivocity held my bittersweet memories;

and i hate being there alone

whereourSTARSturnedintoDUST

2008-02-11T23:46:00.000+08:00

slow dancing in the moonlight;
tats wat i feel like doing.
who with,
but jann arden's 'you don't know me'

so few come & don't go

& then there's a scar

2008-02-07T16:05:00.000+08:00

dearest,

i dreamt of you last night. you & another. she was different, much prettier but i could feel her heart is not true. or was that yours i feel? it felt weird being introduced to her by you in the dream. i kept thinking if your single status for that period of time was true. but i was sure i only loved you as a friend, just cautious of those around you.

but in reality, i know how she looks like. nice but not pretty at all. everyone wonders why & i've concluded the V she's able to satisfy you.

now i'm happy i dreamt that cos dreams usually means the total opposite. i love myself more now.

Love,
Me. :)

2008-02-06T21:30:00.000+08:00

my DRO colleague, Shy, came across an article on the electric new paper.

TAIWAN CELEBS POKE FUN AT OUR ENGLISH, UPSET S'POREAN NETIZENS SAY: Our English is not perfect but it's better than yours
By Liew Hanqing
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eYuIg7Tnc7g

i do feel rather annoyed at the outrageous act of the so-called celebs. oh come on! have you heard yourselves speaking English?! it's horrendous! okay, maybe i'm putting too general already. i believe Scholars can speak good english, but these celebs? they speak mandarin everyday on their show, their english sound like their dialect can?! honestly, i've met people from taiwan & china and most times, i have difficulty understanding their english. they say they have problems understanding us, well, they have problems understanding the spoken english of the americans or the british especially.

so really, it's not us, it's them. it's a well-known fact that we have our own english here & that's singlish. (don't remind me of that incident during the symposium our arrongant neighbours said they have manglish in their country. well, too bad ours is more well-known my friends) & yeah, we do have quite a lot of abbrevations but it works well for us here. so, i don't see any problems with that. & it's true what was written in the article. we, singaporeans speak a lot of singlish among ourselves because it has become a habit, a culture in our country. but when the need is there-for presentations in front of VIPs or even to tourists, the standard of english is relatively high.

I can be an example of that. i do speak singlish often to my friends, with much expletives, & every now and then, i practise my mother tongue with my peers too. but once i'm at work, I speak standard english and sometimes, with an accent. british, some say. it can get tiring sometimes though. haha.

anyway, i feel that our english is a good asian mixed. it may not be perfect, but good enough for others from the US, the UK or even from Asia, to understand. so don't criticise us because we're from a multi-ligual nation, just look at yourselves in the miror and listen to you speak. you'll notice that sometimes, you don't even understand what you're saying.

HAH!

well, besides that article, i just can't believe that i've watched 3 movies within a span of 1 week. madness la. i've never done this before la! haha. i'm just hoping i have enough to go by till the end of the month. especially with the party plans we have for next friday.

weeee! my fren, dyanne, from animal farm will be joining us too. hehehe. honestly, i can't wait!

& nurhaliza osman, the mouse face who was once our miss universe, SO SUCK AT ACTING!! i honestly dunno why the hell she's back on screen. wtf were they thinking?! putting as chinese/nyoya character when 1) she doesn't look chinese & 2) i dunno what accent she's trying to follow - she sounded indian, chinese & malay at different times as josephine.

GET NINA HALIM BACK ON SCREEN!!! HAHAHA

the leap of love & faith

2008-02-06T01:31:00.000+08:00

i made a rather impulse decision, to buy catherine lim's novel-A Leap Of Love cos i simply couldn't wait to know what the story & upcoming movie is all about. but deep inside, there was still a longing to read something to make me a believer again.

silly, you might say. to read a fictionous tale of unwavering belief in true love & the belief of the privilege given to women to propose to the men instead of the conventional way.

but i achieved just that. i was determined to finish reading the book within the day although i had a lunch date with fidah for her birthday. fine, it was luncher (lunch+dinner cos we had the meal so much later than planned!) but i closed the book after reading the last line, having a stronger belief in that SOMEONE out there. i shall not look for love, it will tell me when the right one comes.

there is a place i want to go to, but i don't know where
there is someone i want to meet, but i don't know whom

as i let the story unfold, i pictured li lin, qi yuwu, joan chen & ananda matthew everingham as they carried out the characters of li-ann, K.S., jocelyn & jeremy respectively. i still can't wait till the movie is out cos it seems tat some scenes are different from those written.

it's better to have loved & lost
than never to have loved at all

nothing's changed, i'll still be the same. the very one u know before that kiss. let love come on its own, with hopes that i'll notice when it knocks on my door.

you appeared but the feeling's gone
we were just a memory i'll never forget

2008-02-05T13:32:00.000+08:00

i bumped into mr richard & terrance at funan mall when i was on my way to chinatown to get my long-awaited sun block (cos its cheaper there. haha) they laughed when i showed them the crest on my polo-tee but i stood unfazed & smiled cos i'm earning and doing rather well in ducktours. i love my job & i enjoy every single bit even when i'm challenged with some tough guests, but like wat peili said earlier on, i learnt more in my previous job but here, i have fun & i earn every month excluding my tips! HAH!

anw, i didnt get the sun block in the end. i was contemplating between nivea's sun block cum whitening and banana boat's block cos i'm getting too tanned but i wanna whiten my skin too! the shopkeeper was then telling me against nivea cos of the chemical 'paraben' in their products (methyl & propyl paraben). he went on saying that nivea is produced in Thailand and that Asians do not read the labels since we don't understand what the chemicals do. well, i can't agree more. all he did was to encourage paraben-free products and said that white spots were caused by it. i was quite hapless cos it's true i dunno what chemicals is being used and what effects is REALLY has but i didn't wanna trust the shopkeeper that quickly because hey, i was in chinatown! basically i didn't know what to do & who to trust so being a student from RP, i did my research & found this article.

Keeping Well-Preserved
Cosmetic preservatives makers offer alternatives as widely used parabens come under scrutiny
Marc S. Reisch.
http://pubs.acs.org/cen/coverstory/83/8346specialtychem3.html
"...The first appeared in the Journal of Applied Toxicology [2004, 24, 5] about two years ago. Researchers studied breast tumors from 20 patients and detected the presence of minute amounts of parabens in the tissue. Since parabens are known to be weak estrogen mimics, the paper suggested a connection between the presence of parabens in breast tissue and breast cancer."
"Then in September, Japanese researchers presented a paper at a conference of the International Federation of Societies of Cosmetic Chemists in Florence, Italy, that added to concerns over parabens. The researchers, mostly from the Kyoto Prefectural University of Medicine, applied lotion containing just one type of paraben—methylparaben—twice a day for a month to the skin of 12 Japanese volunteers. They found that methylparaben did not metabolize in the strateum corneum, the outermost layer of the epidermis, and suggested that its presence accelerated skin aging.."
"Critics point out that it is difficult to reach any broad conclusions about parabens based on the small number of samples in the two studies.."

you might be thinking why are nivea products or any brands using the chemical is still out? well, like what the shopkeeper said, there is still market for it. people are still buying the products so they're still supplying. & it's also stated in the article that there has to be a larger scale or more research done to concretely prove the assumption true since only 2 studies has been done.

& to be safe rather than sorry, i'm just gonna go for banana boat's sun block.

then i did some impulse shopping on 2 tops when i was really looking for some cds/dvds to buy.
swing while you're winning - robbie williams
shine - bond
how to save a life - the fray
home song stories
in the land of women

& as i walk back to the interchange, i heard a familar song being sung by the talented basker who happens to be my fren's dad. i recognised it straightway from the movie My Best Friend's Wedding, the scene where Jule's best fren looked for her & embraced her before setting off with his new wife after his wedding dinner.

I LOVE MY BEST FRIENDS!

just not in love with them. hehehe.

(stupidly i can't embed the song yet. so hold on for 'You Don't Know Me'!)

2008-02-04T00:43:00.000+08:00

SCHOOL'S OUT!

yes, finally AY07/08 is over. & can u imagine? i've been in school for a year alr. time passes by so fast! i'm gonna start getting stressed about my FYP before even going into year 3.

but yeah, again i'll emphasise that sem2 has been sucky. its not the same wany ppl knew in sem1 because i was so distracted by something i shld never have started. sometimes i wished i've kept a low profile, not know that many people in school and just stay focused onto getting good grades. in that way, i could have been driven to get A for every module regardless of how boring the lessons were. & i really can't believe i practically did nothing but slacked the last week of school. i literally made little, or no effort to solve the problems!

& i've calculated, the highest totak GPA i can get by the end of this yr would be 3.3 which means that i need an A for 3 out of 4 modules for the upcoming semesters in order to get a total GPA of 3.5 to secure a place in uni. tats madness man! i've only started to score A for my modules only this year and now i need 3x as much. sheesh..

so far, i do get comments from my facis about my performance in class or basically just what they see in me. Edmund wrote smth like "..i can see why your peers gravitate towards you..". Maybe the reason why he threw the event organisation to me, but i feel that i failed in it la. but clive gave me a comment which i'm not too sure what my reaction should be. he has mentioned before that i'm more matured in thinking as compared to my peers and i do take that as a compliment. he kinda scared me when he told me that i'm university material cos he's prob not noe how i slack sometimes but the biggest shock was when he said publicly in class that i'm probably one of the best students in my diploma. i mean jeezz..thanx. but he shouldn have said tat aloud in class & it is also not a fair judgement since tis is the only dses class he's taken so far. what i appreciate though is his offer to help me contact of deans of some universities if my grades are good enough. finance is not an issue, he said, so i'm looking out for scholarships to sign up for. gosh, wany. so ambitious. but yes, i'm aiming to get a degree!

anw, i went to Pool Junction which is in Middle Rd aft sch. dennis asked me to go over cos he's working there and since i had nowhere to go and have always wanted to drop by, i decided why not even if i were to leave the place alone. but yes, the place has a nice ambience.

denniz at work

sipping the sweet cocktail he made. Nice!

& dennis made me a cocktail which was sweet with ribena in it and i got to try hoegaarden beer. tasted like ginger to me. hahaha. but better than tiger, definitely. i was snapping pics of myself, the place and dennis at work when i spotted the glimmering bottle of Absolut Disco! oh how excited i was!! i noe tat boy mentioned bout the bottle and i read up bout it being a limited edition bottle. it's so nice kayy?! so of course i had some cam-whoring sessions with it. lol.

hello absolut disco! :D

even though the only fren i had there was dennis, i did enjoy myself actually! so THANK YOU DENNIZ!!! :D

well, i thought that tis was our best pic based on angle. haha

HEY MAMBO! MAMBO ITALIANO!

2008-01-31T01:17:00.000+08:00

HEY MAMBO! MAMBO ITALIANO!

lol.

okay. fine. they didn't play that song for mambo night but it was definitely great fun! i think i was superrr exciteddd when they played the medley for Grease. I'VE GOT CHILLS THEY'RE MULTIPLYING! hahaha. but phuture was packed as usual. the crowd wasn't so fun, but i realised i'm of the very few tanned ones in the club. HAH!

& i seriously think the service at the bar SUCKS! they took their own sweet time to get our orders since it's one-on-one before midnight. in the end, a miscommunication with a sweet stranger got us drinks but i still feel guilty. :S

cam-whoring session is a must to set a pre-clubbing mood. -with abby & joey

& the cab driver on our way back cheated me! he drove the longer route while i slept at the back seat. damn, i shouldn have drank.

i woke up at like 9 just now since i've decided not to go for lesson. but of course i have to be in school for lunch! i was the one who organised and told others to turn up in sch & i only appeared just before 2nd break-out.

& a cute-looking boy was the first face i saw in the corridors of E2 Level 5. & the best thing was, he smiled and said hi as he walked towards the corridors of my class. i bet i would be giggling away if it was to happen in Sem 1 but i just returned a confused expression and a quick smile as a reply. it was just weird to see him walk towards my corridor instead of the opposite way.
no, no i don't enjoy bumping into him even when he's alone. but especially so when he's with his companion cos i think they know. she'll give me the evil eye..

so lunch; W4 canteen, 5 facis & 10 students, all coincidentally seated according to gender and position. HAH! but yes, i'm lucky we had a conversation over lunch over many things but the best topic would be about pregnancy and birth! hah. jacqueline told us about her cesarean - how small the cut was and how much they stretch the cut for the baby to be out. "OUCH!" we cried. placentas became a hot topic suddenly after eliza asked jacq what she did with hers. apparently someone at the table doesn't mind placentas as their food. hahaha. i just find it hilarious.

DSES (from left): jenny, eliza, eunice, mr tham, adzim, suhaimi, ivor, najib, saket, russell, dinie, fad, hid, naz, jacqueline & me!

& i drew such an ugly picture of myself to the one i look up to with the attitude i have towards school. i know she's got a good impression of me as her student, but that was last semester and of course, it's cos of her classes. (& did i mention she saw me at the cafe during the 1st meeting on monday? thank god she's nice; she was just about meet the program chair of my diploma at the cafe too but she didn't get us busted.) how i wish i could take it back, all my actions in sem 2. still, it was a bittersweet experience. i'm to blame for not picking myself up fast enough after the fall.

me, jenny, naz & eliza

but still lunch was nice. thanks to adzim for suggesting it. and to all who turned up for the lunchdate. jenny has expressed her gratitude for the gathering too. well, that could have been the last time jenny and eliza would dine in with us under the contract of being our guides in school. & eunice scared me with her experience with achilles tendinitis which she had to go for a surgery, so i've fixed a doc appt at CGH on the 26th feb.

while the rest rushed for class, naz & I got tickets for SWEENEY TODD for dude & najib olso. it should have been lydia, J & haha with us but they cant make it & i really didn't have any plans since i've decided to not go for class so the movie was a must. i would have gone with steff since i knew she was awaiting the movie too but the offer came earlier. so sorry!! but i havent watched 27 dresses so we're equal. hah

cats in the cradle was really good! we sat along orchard rd as we plan to chill in indochine@wisma one day during the holz. i would suggest partying after chilling out there though. haha. yes, partyy partyy.

do u know? u haunt me now.
everywhere i go,
i see the steps u took; with me
& i remember the many smiles i cry for now

i began to wonder why i came..

2008-01-28T19:17:00.000+08:00

i know i havent been blogging. i didnt intend to return back to this page actually but dearest Linie do come back to read. oh well, i'll try to do so again ya. hahaha.

no prizes for the correct guess to another reason why i'm here again; i'm bored. can u imagine? i've got no solid plans for the day after sch. tat is so not like Wany.

i've been a total wreck this whole semester - have been coming late to class still & i make no effort to make it in time to class most times. super boring modules that i've got but my attitude towards school was worse after TAT (like i said in my previous entry, i aint gonna talk bout it anymore). & oh! i guess i was a little affected by the decisions of Jenny, Eliza & Jacqueline to leave sch. i've got no older peer to turn to for advise or for a bitching session. well, not regularly tat is. they might be AA next academic yr.

i was reading my own profile & i realised i wrote that i like 'sexy bald men'. really, not all guys can carry off a bald head. if if they could, i'll be hots for them. good examples would of course be David Beckham, Rio Ferdinand, Brad Pitt & even Tommy from dragonboat although he's more cute than hot. but then again, tommy's untouchable ya. will not go through another round of being a bitch. so yeah, all TAT boy look like is a cancer boy going through chemotheraphy with the beanie after we were back from the most recent holz. hahaha. i'm evil, but truth hurts baby. like how it hurt me.

okayy. enough with the sarcasm, wany. i'm dying for an iPod now can?! either classic or nano cos i wanna finish watching L Word, i'm still onto season 1. but i need to take my BEC first! KAREN ALREADY PASSED HERS!!!!! WTF! no more procrastination alr, need to take it asap.

& oh! i'll be going to boiler's room in st james again on 15th feb. join me if u're free cos there isnt tat many going ya. tat reminds me, i still havent had my bdae partyy that was supposedly postponed last yr. hmmmmm....

playing in my head:-
semuanya telah berakhir;
antara hati ku & hati mu;
takkan ada cinta seperti yang dulu

so i call it a lesson learnt

2008-01-16T01:24:00.000+08:00

goodbye love; i'll welcome back an old friend

It’s been 2 months. Yes, silly of me to remember that I wore exactly the same outfit 2 months ago on the same date. But I remember, because that was the day I lost it, that I got myself lost in goals, emotions and directions for weeks after that. & after I ended it all, I thought I was fine. I tried so hard to make it ok, but I’m volatile and inexperienced. I thought I knew just what to do, on how to treat you, or myself even. But only till today that I knew.

Called me a bitch and it really didn’t help. What I needed was a steady answer to how things should be after the mistake and what I got was confusion with people telling me to treat him differently. I’ve tried. I’ve tried it all; to be a friend & also the bitch with only caustic remarks at the tip of the tongue. Still it didn’t feel right somehow. Intense was the description used by an observer.

I’ve decided to take on the bright side of things. Part of me says that I should stand up for women’s rights but I’ll keep it till the last strike. I shall take it as an experience. It’s a lesson learnt but life goes on. I don’t wanna be reminded of this memory unless I chance upon something similar but with hopes not to, of course. Let it be a scar, a numb one. So please, I’ll appreciate it if this issue is not spoken of again.

Lesson Learned - Alicia Keys (feat. John Mayer)

He broke my heart

And now it's raining

Just to rub it in

I'm at your door

I feel so crazy about it

You'll say I told you so

You saw it long ago

You knew he had to go

I finally came 'round

I'm back on solid ground

Can't let it get me down

It's alright

(Chorus)

Yes I was burned but I called it a lesson learned

Mistake overturned So I call it a lesson learned

My soul has returned So I call it a lesson learned

Another lesson learned

Sometimes

Some lies

Can take a minute

To fully realize

His tears

Your eyes

Thirty seconds to apologize

You give it one more chance

Just like the time before

But he already know

You'd give a hundred more

Until that night in bed

You wake up in a sweat

You're racing to the door

Can't take it anymore

(Chorus)

Life perfect

Ain't perfect

If you don't know what the struggle's for

Falling down ain't falling down

If you don't cry when you hit the floor

It's called the past cause I'm getting past

And I ain't nothing like I was before

You ought to see me now

(Chorus 2x)

2007-10-27T00:05:00.000+08:00

i'm recovering. Thankfully.
i've got so many things going on this 3 weeks.

pp.yellow ribbon netball trainings & carnival.avalanche.hippotours.baby shower.captain's ball.meetings for tennis IG training programme.meeting for OBS trip.betting against soccer girls.& of course cafe del mar!

monday was the toughest. tears were on the brink of flowing but there's nothing to cry about.
i'm in repair; i'm not together but i'm getting there.

& i dunno why but i really miss tat woman. it's the sarcasm maybe. but maybe i noe;she's the one that can get me geared up again, back to my usual self.but i'm getting there soon. getting my grades back up, but still i kept being late. hahaha.

shit. dun get me started bout why i was always early in the start of the sem. haiz..

met my aunty Nina at mr lincoln's party last night. i couldnt be bothered to be in other conversations. just 1 word for tat night: sinful.

scheming.

& ladies! Cafe Del Mar on the 3rd! Lex cant make it but we'll make do with 7 of us. too bad i cant party the night away but we'll have a blast! re-celebrate everyone's bdae! HAH!

2007-10-20T16:01:00.000+08:00

i think my life is in disarry again.
i'm seriously not Healthy. haha. in at least 2 aspects. gosh..

i'm going crazy soon cos i havent started on my PP! i gave the interview questions to peili like 2 weeks ago & i'm gonna get the answers only next week! without the answers, i cant start because the website didnt provide me much information. its not even updated since 2002 & the other website on the balloon doesn cover much either so really, if i'm allowed to talk to Chief over coffee i think my PP would be completed! just once! Haiz..

My PP supervisor, Han Chow (i noe, weird name) has been very nice to me & i don't wanna fail him & i don't want him to fail my for my project either. i'm supposed to e-mail him about my progress by this week & i cant tell him i've only done the content page so far rite? I think i might need to skip class next week just to get it done since the dateline is 1st Nov!!!! Arghhh!!

Classes has been ok so far. I'm getting just 1 A per wk on average & i'm not very happy with this actually. i knew having to please male facis isn easy. & honestly, the modules are very general & boring. but i still wanna increase my GPA.

did i mention i wasnt picked to go to Thailand for the SEA Games? only Eugene & saket's going. Eugene deserves it for being our school scholar but Saket shld be re-assessed. Just cos he holds the position of president, he doesn deserve the trip, let alone the respect of being president. i didnt asked that woman if she did send in the vote for me but well, the answers are out now rite?

anw, i think i'm quite a heartbreaker. its just that i dun like to layan ppl i dun wanna layan to lead them on or smth u noe. i mean, c'mon this boy's a flirt! i'm definitely not the first person he likes & he's probably thinking that i love his chase. but seriously, calling me sayang when u just got to know me personally makes me disgusted actually.

& to you whom i've liked, wondered & missed so much in the past 2 weeks at least, i dunno how i'm supposed to feel & act towards u. it's been, or maybe still is,a physical attraction. but u're no longer pursuing i think. u really left me hanging boy. i noe its not love, but i think/thought of you everyday. & u're making me lead such an unhealthy life with all the ice-creams & chocolates i've eaten just to make me feel better. they are my aprodisiacs, sweets. do u get it now?

it may take some time to patch me up inside
i cant take it so i run away & hide

i need to shape my life again
i need to run
i need to write
i wanna read
i wanna dance
i dun wanna feel now
& like wat 'one of the facis' wrote:
eat, drink, don't think! HAH!

2007-10-16T23:45:00.000+08:00

kak jan's baby girl is out! & she got the same bed as kak shirin when she gave birth. but i havent seen the baby. :(

& rayn pronounced BUTTERFLY properly in the car just now! the first 3 syllables word he can pronounce. if not it wld have been ta-tter-tie. LOL!

i love your smell...
how i wanted to hug u

Seribu Tahun - Imran Ajmain

2007-10-16T16:59:00.001+08:00

Relaku menunggumu seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup aku akan selama ini
Biar berputar utara selatan ku tak putus harapan
Sedia setia

Relaku mengejarmu seribu batu jauh lagi
Tapi benarkah kaki ku-kan tahan sepanjang jalan ini
Biar membisu burung bersiulan terlelah gelombang lautan
Ku masih setia

Adakah engkau yakin... ini cinta
Adakah engkau pasti... ini untuk selama-lamanya

Relaku menunggumu seribu tahun lama lagi
Tapi benarkah hidup aku akan selama ini... yeah...
Biar berputar utara selatan ku tak putus harapansedia setia
Jangan putus harapan... sedia setia......

kelip-kelip disangka api,kalau api mana puntungnya?,
hilang ghaib di sangka mati,kalau mati mana kuburnya?

2007-10-11T23:37:00.000+08:00

it's gonna 10 days tmr.

10 days that i've been going to sch on my own that is. well, it was easier in the beginning but lately, i wished i'll bump into him at the bus-stop, on the bus or at the interchange.

i guess i was just waiting for the gf to come back from europe last mon. i was waiting for him to settle things between them. but i think he already did. he's probably made his decision.

i shunned away as a test. i did so so as to not get myself hurt.
he failed. & maybe i failed him. but i alr feel the pain.
it shld never have started. he was untouchable.

a physical attraction to your smile today.
& there was a wisp of your cologne before dinner with my class.
i miss your presence.

gue rindu bangat sama kamu; tapi kamu masih berpunya kan?

2007-10-05T15:41:00.000+08:00

I finally got my own laptop fixed. There was smth wrong with my keyboard & I had to borrow the sch’s tablet to do my work. But trust me, tablet is not as fun as we all think k. now I understand why That woman finds bringing one around such an chore cos its no fun & it can be irritating at times.

But well, so many things happened while my laptop is down & now, I don’t feel like explaining cos I’ve done so to too many ppl. All I can say now is that I may have been a bitch throughout last week what with the flirting, hands-holding, touches & probable kisses. & it took just one person, for That Woman, to just see us not doing anything but just physically together, to make me feel awfully guilty. She gave me the benefit of the doubt, but remembering what she would do if I made the wrong move made me realize that dwelling in a triangle with him is not worth the friendships I’ve made with others. & thankfully, I haven’t fallen for him so deeply so it was easy to ignore him though it feels a lil weird not hearing my phone ring. But then again, I got my independence back! Weee!!!

I don’t mind if he’s single or anything, but surprisingly, I have options to choose from. HAH! but I don’t want another ‘mouse’ incident.

To everyone I ran to & lent me a listening ear & ur valued advises, thank you so much! Love u all!
But to Fadz, thank you for being there for me everytime I needed to squeal with glee or whine about him wherever I was. & to get along well with him & then gave me your advise so to not see me hurt in the end. I love you many many!

2007-10-04T16:50:00.000+08:00

The Click Five-Jenny
She calls me baby
Then she won't call me
Says she adores me The
And then ignores me
Jenny...
What's the problem?

She keeps her distance Click
And sits on fences
Looks up resistance
And build defenses
Jenny...What's the problem?

You leave me hanging on the line
Everytime you change your mind

First you say you won't
Then you say you will
You keep me hanging on
And we're not moving on
I'm standing still Jenny
You've got me on my knees
Jenny... It's killing me

She needs her own space
She's playing mind games,
End up at my place
Saying that she's changed
Jenny... What's the problem?

I'm trying to read between the lines
And got me going out of my mind

First you say you won't
Then you say you will
You keep me hanging on
And we're not moving on The
I'm standing still Jenny
You've got me on my knees
Jenny... It's killing me
It's killing me
It's killing me
Jenny...

First you say you won't
Then you say you will
You keep me hanging on
And we're not moving on
I'm standing still Jenny
You've got me on my knees
Jenny...

First you say you won't
Then you say you will
You keep me hanging on
And we're not moving on
We're standing still Jenny
You've got me on my knees
Jenny... It's killing me
It's killing me
Jenny...

It's weird how i can relate to a song which title is the name of my fav faci. But i'm playing see-saw.

But thank god, everyone is telling me to stay away from him. Mutual consensus. Makes decisions easier. & after seeing THAT woman at the interchange before such on Tue,I realized it's not worth compromising friendships for him. I've got many options now anw.

kekasih gelapku

2007-09-25T15:08:00.000+08:00

Ku mencintaimu lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orangpun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu sedalam dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

Yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cintaku
Yang kucari selama ini dalam hidupku
Dan hanya padamu kuberikan sisa cintaku
Yang panjang dalam hidupkuHidupku…

Ku mencintaimu lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orangpun yang tahu
Ku mencintaimu sedalam dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku
Woho…

Ku mencintaimu sedalam dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku
Ku mencintaimu lebih dari apapun
Meskipun tiada satu orangpun yang tahu

Ku mencintaimu sedalam dalam hatiku
Meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku
Kekasih gelapku…

2007-09-22T15:34:00.000+08:00

i smelt you while holding the ball,
its the smell of perfume in the car.

HAH!

2007-09-21T23:31:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wished I’ve not known you
Or that you were not outstanding
That you hadn’t look at me that way
That I hadn’t liked you

But just now, I wished it was just you & me
That there was no one else in the picture
No dogs or bitches.
As you rested upon my shoulders
I took the whiff of your hair in my face
How I wished it could last forever

I’m coming to be very fond of you
Maybe I can be your fling…

2007-09-20T20:09:00.000+08:00

i had 3 brats who spoiled my plans!
spoiler! spoiler! spoiler!!
HUMPH!

;the empty seat next to me was for you.

2007-09-16T23:22:00.000+08:00

i love zhen ai!!
she gave me a whole list of universities & degree courses which i was looking for & she made everything so much easier! Wee!

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABE!

but i've yet to discuss anything with my mum. she's always pinning me down bout my allowance cos i didnt tell her i'm working & i needed the cash for breaking fast outside.

oh ya! selamat manjalani ibadah puasa! heh.

i was looking thru friendster. he's a really sweet guy. i love the poem he wrote her but i think i'll just stand back. i dun wanna be THE bitch.

pergilah sayangku, hilangkan dirimu
tak sanggup menanggung derita di kalbuku
-izinku pergi; Kaer Azami

2007-09-16T23:07:00.000+08:00

He makes me laugh, almost always. Sometimes it’s the way he looks at me that makes me nervous. Forget the incident in the club, I still am attracted to him. Amazingly, I still feel very comfortable around him despite having a liking to him. This doesn’t happen often.

I might read his gestures wrongly though. Maybe he’s just being too nice. But what is his boundary of being friendly? Fooling around with much fondling of the hands to avoid tickles? I felt that I was on a date, just the bus trip. Then again, he may have just been too friendly.

But there is also another she. One whom I’ve seen from the back but have never met. I feel so guilty for my feelings towards him every time I remind myself she’s in the picture. But out of all, for now, he is one I could lust for.

I can’t adore him more than a friend. Oh, how high the risk of having a broken heart.

2007-09-12T17:17:00.000+08:00

i'm in sch checking out the entry requirements to get into overseas universities that offer any sports/exercise degree courses.

yes. i may have gone mad. for a good reason.

apparently, jacqueline graduated from university of liverpool - the one in UK! & tats a masters she brought home after investing almost 10k per yr! tats incredible la! but she's very intelligent indeed. 10k per yr while taking her degree, she comes home earning more or less 10k every month! i was dumbfounded when she told me she went to uk, & probably i still am now.

& i've calculated, i have to work my ass off in order to apply for uni. my gpa is 3.29 now, i need to increase at least another 2.1 more before i graduate. NYEH!

GO WANY GO!

HAPPY!

2007-09-05T16:11:00.000+08:00

wow. i didnt noe blogger provide uploads of videos now. but hey! i havent been blogging for awhile ey.

ok, its not THAT long. just a week, i think.

so i've started working as a tainer (guide) on the Hippobus. I'm on the heritage one. Call me lucky for having another good senior around during my assessment. Gavin's his name & i just found out from one of our bus captains he's quite well-to-do. Well, enough about him. I've worked for 2 days & i get the least tips among me, Lyd & Naz. & can u believe it? Naz started out later than me & she earned $20+ in tips for her first day! Lucky lor! mine hasnt reached above 10. humph.

I called ms nureen the day before teacher's day celebration. Boy, i was lucky she answered because usually she would miss my calls. It's been 2 years since i last saw her on her birthday. she told me i sounded more mature over the phone which i took as a compliment actually. & she still has the cow & handmade card i gave her as a gift. shucks. i'm so touched.

& tat very day, thursday, i just felt good. almost everything went well. i passed my assesment. i called people i like. not just ms nureen, i made calls to sarah(ciqken), my idol- meiqi & jenny. had to call the latter cos i wanted to help her get the number to her T-artist in arab st since i was in suntec. i went down to a biker's bar in klapa rd (thanks to darling Nina for helping me locate the bar!) & really, tat bar is cool. has a Texas feel to it.

believe it or not, i walked from suntec, to arab st (had our lunch/dinner at Hajah Maimunah), then stopped over at PS before heading towards orchard that day too. I finally decided wat i wanted to give jenny when i looked around Made With Love again. I was just so excited la. & my sis wanted me to look for poems on love or weddings for the gift for the newlyweds. & i found a shop that can repair my sony cam & my sis's ixus which i dropped at peili's wedding earlier this year.

honestly, 30th august was a really lucky day.

i went back to hai sing on fri for teachers' day & i was the only one from my batch there. i got to see mr gng & he showed me a pic of his wife (that was the first question i asked him, whether he's wedded alr). I caught mr raj olso! he knows Dr Michael Koh, the director for SHL but i'm not sure if Dr Mike knows him. Karen Fah looked aneroxic can? she's stick thin although she's married & mother to 1 i think. but i actually went back to meet Sarah. hahaha. its been 2 years too. gosh. caught up a lil with her. she's pretty shocked with how i live my life - to the fullest! HAH! but yup, i fed my yearning to see her again.

i got myself & lydia late for our friendly with Avalanche when i brought her to MWL to get the stuff after her assessment. peili actually reached earlier than us even though she left the office later! haha.

the wedding reception in JB was ok la. but i was alr feeling unwell the night before so i had to endure the heat & malaysian air over there. i'm not fretting, i was just counting the number of times i fell sick throughout the year & how easy it was for me to do so when i cross the borders. i'm a little worried since i'm leaving for KL-Perak tmr for our training trip. Damn it. 5 days.

i didnt really sleep for the past 2 nights cos i wanted to get the gift done by today since i wanted to go to sch for jac's pilot study. but it's really worth it because it turned out really nice though there's a lil bit of imperfection. & she's worth the effort since she paid for the drinks the other night & she wanted to nominate me for the SEA Games trip. only 2 students gets to go. but there's a lot of criteria so she's still deciding. but at least she thought of nominating me, that's good enough.

i called her to join me, Saket & russell for lunch just now as a reason for me to meet her to handover the gift. she was clueless throughout lunch though she did hinted me the other day not to get her anything expensive & to just study hard. sounds like my mother ey? haha. & since there was a photo of her in the club inside the box, i walked her to 7-eleven to get her toothbrush so they wouldn see. but yes, i got the smile which i always look for from people after they get that handmade gift from me. she asked so many questions which i realised i didnt really answer cos i was too excited actually. LOL! & to think that the card wasnt fully done.

i'm not sure who i should make the next 'project' for but its definitely gonna be from MWL. the salespeople recognised me alr anw. Ahhh! HAPPY!

I didnt manage to take a shot of the box but i've asked her to help take shots of it for me. i dun think it's gonna be the angles that i want but nvm, remnants of my works still anw.

& more reasons to be happy bout. My Sem 1 results turned out good!. I got an A for Psychology!! for UT4 & the overall module grade! Wee! B+ for both Anatomy & Prescription module grades & finally, a B for Nutrition la for both UT4 & module grade. at least a B man. Heng! current GPA is 3.29, better than yr 1. well done, Wany! SMILEYS!!!

Ait. need to pack & pay back my sleep. no mambo for me tonight, unfortunately. but yes, my clothes, passport, panties....

2007-08-29T23:28:00.000+08:00

What are your parting words for this class, if you're given a chance to say anything to them?

We started out as a quiet class with very little things in common but sadly, I feel that we ended it with a little bit of that too.

It was my bad I came late for the entire first week so I never really knew everyone’s names nor the interest they have in, so it was very challenging trying to break the ice. But I carried along one principle I learnt while working in a marketing firm for a year, and that is ATTITUDE.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. (Winston Churchill) Never settle for second best when you know that you’re not far away from being best. Coming to school may be a chore to you, but why be a pessimist? Another day would be wasted out of the many days in life but by the time you realize it, there might not be much time left. Regret is another action of wasting time.

It is ironic how many would whine & complain about the facilitators & the grades given when all they do is sit behind their laptops with eyes fixed on the screens when a chance for a better grade is being thrown at them. Of course you should try your best even though the answer might be wrong but never smoke your way through. It may be tough on the introverts but a little bit of active participation could help your future & it will definitely not hurt your pride. But then again, what is pride anyway?
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit" Aristotle

Always put yourself in other’s shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too. Try to be a dedicated facilitator who has put in so much effort to let everyone understand the day’s problem but no one’s acknowledging you, is it fair? What we may get now is probably just a pissed off faci with a little downgrading. But try ignoring your boss in the future; either you’ll pray you’ve never been born and/or you’ll not see another paycheque for awhile.

Ask & you shall receive. Work hard & you will achieve. It is always easier to do something you like than when you’re forced to. So always try to like doing the things that you do & the people around you.

This may have been brutally honest in terms of everyone’s attitude but I love everyone nonetheless. I grew fond of the class also because I was made to sound more outspoken than the rest. & truth be told, I’ve always regarded D as ‘my class’ although the bond is not very strong but they’ve given me a good start & a good ending to the first semester of a full DSES class. Definitely, I will miss E25D.

kinda seem that i was writing a speech for a seminar rite? but i had tat done in a rush, so hell, i handed that in. It was definitely the longest for nutrition la. i bet she wont be all smiling seeing the length but i hope i have the substance.

2007-08-28T18:39:00.000+08:00

ur perfume smell on me...

my tribute to US!

2007-08-22T10:34:00.001+08:00

I never realized how close I became to the 4 of you or when it even started. It has been fun with the 4 of us in the diploma to meet every breakout cos our classes are next to each other. Plus & minus, Lydia & sometimes, Nab, I’ve never really had a mundane breakout so far. Maybe I’m always excited bout my classes that I talk too much. Or it’s Haha’s silly antics of a makcik. Or J’s ‘blurness’. Or Naz’s crazy self jumping at the walls, or Lydia, running into them. But we grew a bond that I thought I could never foster again after secondary school.

Yes, we love the ambiguous topic of bisexuality due to the affection that we have for eah other. But honestly, I treat u all like my sisters rather than gfs. Maybe the reason why I refuse to be anyone’s saying/sweetheart/fling?

When Lydia told me bout her decision to move to Germany in Dec, I was dumbfounded. Honestly, I didn’t know what to say. In the end, the decision to how you live your life is not in my hands & neither will I be the one providing you for your future. I understand fully why you had to do esp after knowing bout your step-sister. What a bitch she is. But it took me awhile to realize how much you will be missed by me. I think you’re the only one I know who wants to do lindy hop, yearns to dance in a club & do self-talk. Who else could be as weird as me? I hope things would turn out better for you in German. Bring me home a sexy bald guy or a pretty boy k? *HUGS

& however much I hate cliques in netball, I feel fortunate I have you guys who have the same frequency as me though we may have different beliefs. So I just wanna say, I love you all. =))

Here's to the next semester...! cheers.

2007-08-21T23:30:00.000+08:00

So everyone knows I do self-talk, very often too. But hey! At least you wont see me moving my lips & no sound coming out of it. & most times, I’ll let others know that it’s just another round of my self-talk.

Anw, my window-shopping-time just now was well-spent. I was contemplating whether to head to Haji Lane again or Vivocity. Linie told me to go to the latter since shops in Haji Lane usually closes early. But I took the risk. The shops aligning the lane were all good man, & most of them were still opened when I reached arnd 6+. Somehow, I didn’t dare go into those shops selling clothes alone. I rather go in with a companion. But I swear PLUCK is the new LOVE! They’ve got a bit of antiques & a very retro feel. They’ve got many belts which I fell in love with, antique clocks, retro design wallpapers, accessories. You name it! I ole this green retro design tote bag which costs $139, their racerback that has the word ‘slovenly’ ($24) & a black dress. Yes. A dress!

Got an ice-cream on the way to bugis junction. You know those $1 ones which u can get from the uncle by the roadside on his bike, just to give me some reminiscence. I decided to heed Nina’s advise to head to Muji to see what they have to offer. Before that, I dropped by Nike when I saw the pants I got as a prize for prescription. It’s freaking 70 bucks la! That’s even more expensive than my S&K pants that I always wear.

& well, guess wat? Nina was right, again. Muji did have most of what o was looking for. & they’re on sale! Lucky me. I have a much clearer idea of how I’m getting things done now. & more excitement when I went to ‘Made With Love’ in PS. Again, I swear the shop is a cool arty farty place. It’s simply love & heavenly! Though it really kinda test me on how creative I can be with the many designs thay have, it just reminded me of the many ppl that I need to get presents for.

I guess I have to put my own needs on hold for now. Esp when I haven’t even started work. But I need to get that One done by the 1st.

2007-08-21T00:33:00.000+08:00

OMG! Omfg! Jenny just told me tat she’ll be interviewed for the SHL newsletter for the Hunt for SHL faci. & surprisingly, so does Jacqueline! I seriously dunno if there wasn’t many ppl who wrote in or that my writing was just too good. Lol. But hey! I feel they shld be equally appreciated for who they really are and what they’ve done so far. & its not a sabotage lor! I’m not sure what jenny’s will be if she read my write-up cos I wrote smth of her being moody but cos she used her heart (tat was personal act) & jac when she told me why she’s facilitating instead. Gosh! I think they’re gonna kill me although I noe they love me. LOL!